Toy Review: We-Vibe Tango

If you're going to buy only one bullet vibe, this is the one to get.

The details:
Size - 3.5 in length and 2.3 in circumference
Material: ABS plastic
100% waterproof
Modes: 4 strengths of vibration and 4 patterns

If you've been paying attention to the review scene in the last long while, you know that the tango has one of the strongest, most rumbly motors out there, especially for a bullet vibe. Now, it's no Wahl but given it's a little rechargeable bullet I don't expect that. (I also wouldn't complain if we could get a tiny, rechargeable, wahl though) it comes in pink and blue unless you get the anniversary collection, in which case it's a gorgeous shimmery purple that I am in love with (and comes paired with a sync of the same color).

There are 4 pure vibration strengths and for me, being a lover of really, really, strong and rumbly sensations, I almost exclusively use the top level. Now, most reasonable people will probably be content with #2 or #3. The patterns are, well, patterns and if you're someone who likes patterns you should know that they are the usual we vibe wave, tease, pulse, and cha cha. To cycle between these you push the single button on the bottom, which you press and hold to turn on and off. I'm not the biggest fan of this style since if I accidentally count wrong and miss my setting I have to hit the button a bunch of times to find it again. I have managed to not turn it off by mistake though, which is good.

To charge the thing you use the little magnetic dongle that's included and plug it in to either your own brick or a computer. I hate that it doesn't come with a dedicated brick, and that it's SUPER finicky to get the magnets to stay attached. If you don't get it perfectly still when you attach it there's a good chance the vibe will move and bam, not chargin. Have a cat? Bump, not charging. It's annoying and it is mind boggling that this is an improvement over the old one.

All that aside, I love this thing. It's small enough it fits in pretty much anything that takes a bullet, there are attachments you can get to expand the range of stuff to do with a tango, it's waterproof, sanitizable, rechargeable, rumbly, and all around great. It costs 95$ at the store I work at, 79$ + shipping at we vibe's website, and also 79$ at shevibe.

Note: I did get this toy at a discount at my work, but this review is entirely my opinion.

Porn Review: Karma's a Bitch

While watching this my husband looked at me and asked "was this written by a 9 year old?"

And I can't say I blame him. It's bad. Karma overacts even for porn, there's a lot of unnecessary spitting, the lesbian scene was clearly staged by someone that's never had lesbian sex, there's a scene that I just don't understand and more. But let's start at the top. 

The video is called Karma's a Bitch and it's put out by Archangel and directed by MimeFreak. There are 5 scenes, all featuring Karmen Karma and a variety of costars. 

Scene 1: 

Not sure why but this starts with her being carried into an odd black room by a black guy in jeans and a hoodie. Reasonably normal sex scene follows, though I will say I don't think she came once. 

Scene 2:

This was the lesbian scene that prompted question of who wrote this. It was not sexy and really oddly had both women dressed the same. It involved both of them deep throating a dildo at the same time, so much spit it was just everywhere, using a double ended dildo for dual anal, and a lot of overreaction to silly things. Oh, and her scene partner Adriana was definitely showing off her ability to squirt in this one.

Scene 3: 

I don't get the start of this scene. Karma calls a friend from the side of the road, tells her distract someone, then runs in with a knife and mask to kidnap the guy, tells her friend to come with. Now they're in a room and karma threatens him with a knife to take out his cock, they go down on him. Apparently she did this because she's horny? Follows a reasonably normal FFM threesome. Though at one point the other girl gives Karma an awesome look that plainly says "girl, you're overreacting." Oh and, there's a hilarious part where Karma sucks on one ball and it sticks out oddly on the side of the ballsack in a strange way. I will say this scene was the first one I was sure Karma came in so, kudos for that?

We got bored and distracted and watched the extra scenes at this point. Since I have to return the rental in the morning I won't get to watch the rest. The other two scenes are:

Scene 4: MF water scene

Scene 5: DP

I've seen other reviews that were glowing but I just can't agree. She's pretty, I like her ink, but the fake ass loud overreactions at asinine things just doesn't impress me. Apparently this was her first anal, her first lesbian anal, her first interracial, and her first dp. Good for her, I hope she made a lot, but as a viewer? I wasn't impressed, turned on, or even particularly entertained.

Note: I did not receive this for free, or a discount, it was rented from my work at the normal rental costs.